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Shadows

Cool air and the back of my neck meet. I trust it. It is clean. Scotland holds her secrets close. The ghosts of the ancient Picts shadow me. There is a current message in their penetrating gaze haunting through masks of every shade of green. Conflicting opinions about specifics, people and situations, lacerate any peace I may have found on the drive to Kinross. My last blog entry was only the first of part two. I have attached part II below but I am not the same person as I was when it was written.

 

Part II Jealous

An hour later the cell rang again.  I cautiously picked it up expecting Connor but wouldn't be surprised if it was Mom - that’s the kind of day its been.

"Hello"

"Hi Pip, How did you know it was me?"

"Very funny."

"Sorry, How about some fish and chips, I'm starved."

"If that’s the best you can do, I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Great, but which lobby?'

"Connor, I'm not in the mood for games!"

"Pip, I really don't know where you are staying."

Another hour and we were finally downing a beer and waiting for our meals.  Connor had explained that after the rock festival I had called him from my cell and when he answered a voice quickly said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up.

 I vaguely remember that, as I was dead tired, had a few too many beers, wanted to call Mom, Connor probably in the back of my head, and I accidentally called his number instead.  Thinking he wouldn't know it was me, I quickly hung up.  He went on to say that he waited a few days - not knowing specifically where I was - and dialed my cell.  He got my number from his caller ID when I had called him accidentally.  He therefore didn't know which lobby to meet me in and most importantly did not "misuse" his position and still wasn't stalking me.

 He continued..."If this answers your questions satisfactorily, its now your turn."

"Okay, what are your questions?"

"Phone-o-vision?  Really, Pip..."

"Connor, do you have any questions or not?"

"Yes, one big one.  When we last met in Berlin your reaction to some of the things I said about your Dad clearly convinced me that you really didn't know that he might be alive.  You are some actress Pip, because thanks to another phone mix up, I clearly heard you say ‘...I won’t tell Dad.’  This tells me that both you and your Mother know your Dad is alive."

I knew that was coming but I couldn't even think of a good fabrication, so I told the truth,  "Look I was late for a scheduled call with my Mom - so I called her and caught her in the middle of brunch with a friend.

  It was obviously a sticky situation for both of us - my missing our schedule and her with an unidentified friend.  My Mom closed our phone conversation jokingly whispering '...Don't tell your father, he might be jealous.'  This was her way of reassuring me everything was okay between us.  I expected her to call me back when she was free - so when the phone rang I foolishly assumed it was Mom calling back and I was anxious to return the reassurance to her that everything was good between us. 'Not telling Dad' was a meaningless phrase to anyone but us.  We occasionally referred to him in the present just to let each other know we will never forget him - just a little unwritten code between us,.... but hell, a logical bastard like you wouldn't understand, so think what you will."

"I'm sorry, Pip.  I do understand and I do believe you.  Actually that is exactly my point.  When two people are as close as you and your father, there must be some - using your own words - 'unwritten code' or something that would enable him to let you know he was alive and it would be something that only you would recognize when it happened or when you saw it.  That’s why I asked you in Berlin if there was anything, anything at all that would cause you to doubt his death.  So all I'm asking is for you to think and be vigil as some might try to manipulate

you for their own gain."

As we left the pub, Connor said "Can we meet up again before you go? How about Wednesday?"

"Lets see, Wednesday, the Fourth of July, Independence Day - how appropriate, but then I forgot you Blokes don't celebrate the Fourth over here."

"We do.  Its just that we call it 'Thanksgiving' - Nite, Pip"

Comments

Love ya Pip. Please do come back to the city of Salt. We sure love you here. Bring the all the girls and I promise to ask you no questions and tell you no lies! But I will listen. <3<3<3
Family code, it's an interesting thought.
We speak in so many different ways,
it's like that [Milan] Kundera catch-22,
the meaning behind the words.
Pip. You'd better watch it. I think this Conner guy is coming on to you. Strong.

...what's he look like?
As an American, I did find it odd to be, on the Fourth, in a country that didn't celebrate the Fourth. It was alarmingly apathetic and interesting.

Sometimes, I believe ghosts can be a little jealous, but mostly, I think it's because we want them to.
mystery solved! yay.

you may be interested in this blog. the writer indicates in multiple places that it was inspired by you, and much of the writing is incredible...

especially this post, and her discussion of female archetypes. she feels linked to you, I think, in the form of Kali.

Fish-N-Chips

don't forget the malt vinegar!!!!

It will all get sorted out Pip, at least you did'nt have to listen to 'Phantom of the Opera' with Santa!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU PIP! Ellen

(Anonymous)

hey pip!!!!!!!

hey sup????? looks like the tour is going well!!!!! looooooooved that u call connor a "logical bastard" {he is 1 and he is very shady like i said b4!!!!!} don't trust him at all!!!! he's hiding sumthing and u know it!!!! so b carefull 'bout him!!!!!!!
mkgtweety
Dear Pip,
Breathe in that clean air and let it cool the heat that this confusion has ignited, if only for one moment. You already know that you can trust yourself, your mother and your girls. I am sending you all my love from the other side of the world.

Rae
Dear Pip.....I am not totally sure why I give your this warning but I feel you should be on your best guard in regards to the man who calls himself Michail. He is slowly winning the heart of your dear friend Santa.
When the heart is given over.....one can be blind to the dangers that creep between the cracks.
Please be careful dear Pip.
I love you as many do.
Rae

(Anonymous)

A burning question

Conflicts, things, situations, time
Lacerate thy peace of mind
No longer the same girl we once knew
So, pray tell, Pip, whatever happened to you?

Love to all

(Anonymous)

"Conflicting opinions about specifics, people and situations"

This is the whole problem. The WHOLE thing.

Every little piece and person is part of the green, and they need not have different names.

But we do. Dunno why. Dunno if it matters why.

Blessings on you. All however many of you (us) there are.

(Anonymous)

A very important thought....one which I have pondered for many years. Perhaps the reason we do have different names is because as collective we are yet to fully comprehend what it really means and feels like to be 'part of the green'as you have explained.
Love to you

(Anonymous)

In the green (house effect)

In the green, there are no words
In the green, there are no wars
We’re all off to Dublin in the green, in the green
Silent truth shining in the sun

Love and be free

(Anonymous)

Names

There was a name
so there were words,
There were words
so there are wars,
There are wars
to inspire peace
And Peace
will have a name.

Re: Names

I like that! I like that...

(Anonymous)

Land of the Picts and Vikings

Hay Pip,
The most ancient Rocks of Scotland, a visit to Shetland and you can see the best evidence of the Pict's existance. We have the highest concentration and the most complete Broch. Also our folklore is filled with tales of the intergration or sometimes terrorism of the vikings encroching on the picts (as well as all the problems with Trolls of course!)

I could tell you forever about our magical Island's but better for you to see them!
Adore you and love to all the Posse xx Robin

(Anonymous)

independence


i came to find you - the celtic fringes - to thank you for your discipline and certainty. the air was clean - enough to see through. system a stage but you scape outward - illuminate with darkness - annihilate - yes - trust.
that conflict their fear. your wave circles - we hear it. this is you you? girl in red with blacklydressed at end
sending love anyway
I miss your mom. Let's ALL have brunch.

(Anonymous)

I can't say why, but I love that phrase.

(Anonymous)

'Thanksgiving'

Funny.

(Anonymous)

rocking Scotland

Hey Pip! sorry i didn't get to see you up at Balado for TITP, but Santa made up for it, she totally rocked! i didn't know the second song she played in between 'Body and Soul' and 'You can Bring Your Dog' but she owned that piano and got everyone eager for Tori's presence. The girl next to me was screaming for an acoustic set but hell, those guitars were well used.
Will the Posse ever come back to Scotland? I was so excited to see them and, like all humans, the 50 mins wasn't enough and i want more!!!
Well, good luck with the rest of the tour, i'm sure everyone else who is present at your concerts will lead lives enriched and your set will blow everyone away.
Love you all and peace
Juan
Hi there Pip. How's things? I was going to come see you, Tori and the others in concert at the Sydney Opera House on the 25th, but now I can't, cause it's been rescheduled to the 15th. It sucks living in a backwater with no concerts to go to. Still, hope you guys have a good time.