Pip

Flying into London Heathrow several days ago I am reminded of an odd conversation that took place back home within the last few weeks, with Buzz – an old colleague of my Dad’s.  Dad was always making trips to London through my growing up years.  I somehow felt closer to him as I disembarked at Terminal 3.  My mind dials back to a not too distant incident involving Buzz…

(my dialogue is presented in black, Buzz’s conversation is in army green)

I was watching the brain draining device known as a television since my laptop was having separation anxiety with its server when Buzz came bolting through the screen door.

‘Where’s your mother Pip?’

‘Well hello Buzz, let me give you the script.  Buzz comes in without knocking, gruffly acknowledging the daughter of the woman he came to see with a curt but serviceable, “Morning, Pip”.’

‘Sorry ‘bout that, good morning – where’s your mother?’

‘She’s not back yet.  What’s the crisis?’

‘Nothing critical; I just wanted to check on something your Dad might have told her.  What’s on the tube?’

‘They are doing a follow up on the soldiers that Iran gave back.’

‘What soldiers?’

‘You know, the soldiers that were on that boat in Iranian territory.  They have confessed and Iran gave them new suits and gift bags and sent them back to old Blighty.’

‘Pip, Pip, Pip, are you sure you weren’t adopted?  Neither your mother, nor your father were ever such a casual reporter.  They would have their facts straight.’

‘Facts?  Straight?  Lay them on me, I insist.’

I decided to play dumb and give Buzz a taste of his own medicine – letting the other person talk and then in machine gun fashion shooting them down.

‘Okay, if you insist – First, they weren’t soldiers they were sailors and Marines.  Second, they weren’t in Iranian territory, they were in Iraqi waters.  Third, they were captured, put in confinement, and only confessed under duress.  Fourth, you should have noticed the heroes welcome the Brits gave them.  Fifth….’

‘Whoa buddy!  I’d prefer not to know the details.  I can handle my version but with yours I’ve got real problems.’

‘What problems?’

‘Well, as you would say, first why didn’t they fight?’

‘They said some of them might be dead if they did.’

‘Let me get this straight – troops don’t fight because some of them might die?  And where was the warship and helicopter that was supposed to be protecting them?  Second, territory waters are always in dispute. Some countries claim three miles before international water.  Others claim 100 miles or whatever suits them therefore what we or they thought was Iraqi waters could have been Iranian waters if we were Iranian.  Third, their so called heroes welcome probably was the impetus for their government to allow them to sell their stories to the media even though that decision was contrary to their past policy.  I can only imagine the impact that will have on British military in future similar situations.  I’ll bet that decision comes back to haunt them and probably the rest of us.  Fourth, and most important, they seemed to have ‘confessed’ awfully quickly considering they were threatened with possibly going on trial but I don’t recall any of them saying they were tortured or hurt (at least not yet). Is that what soldiers, excuse me, sailors and Marines are taught?  Is that what you or Dad would have done?’

‘True, they are not your Dad, but…’

‘But brutally put – I wonder if Dad had been captured and he confessed, would he still be alive?’

‘Pip, don’t go there.  Your Dad died in an auto accident – you know that!’

‘I know…that’s what we were told.’

‘Gotta get back.  Tell your Mom I stopped by.’

I didn’t look up as he let himself out.

(conversation between me and my mom)

Mom returned shortly and I told her Buzz had stopped by –

‘That’s nice.  What did he want and where is he now?’

‘He wanted to check with you on something but he left in a little bit of a huff and a big hurry.’
‘That doesn’t sound like him.  What happened?’

I reloaded the Gattling gun and fired away, relaying the chat with Buzz as accurate as I could. 

‘Well done.  These are strange days aren’t they?  You know the public is fickle when it comes to how they feel about the military.’

‘Yeah, I think Kipling summed it up best with his Tommy (Atkins).’

‘Yes that’s right!”

We broke into a chorus of –

“It’s Tommy this

          and Tommy that

and Tommy go away!

But it’s ‘Thank you Mr. Atkins’

When the band begins to play.”