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Anger
I look up from staring at the pond, or whatever you call this thing, where I remember having had that moment with Dad. I am here. I almost feel as if he were here too. I’ve walked miles and I begin to review today’s emotional shrapnel and all the destruction it has caused. Maybe I should have heard an alarm bell go off this morning when Mom was reading her paper.
‘Sweetheart,’ she began. ‘Have you been following the story that the Post covered concerning the deplorable conditions at Walter Reed Medical Center?’
‘I guess I heard something about it Mom. What’s going on?’
‘Where to begin? Failure of leadership. Shoddy facilities. And among other things a disability system that is best described as a maze that is overly bureaucratic and needlessly complex.’
‘More coffee, Mom?’ I sat down. You just don’t walk away from Mom when she’s informing you.
She nodded and continued, ‘This situation resulted in the then-CG (Commanding General) of WRMC (Walter Reed Medical Center) being ousted by the new SECDEF (Secretary of Defence, Gates) trying to clearly show the difference between him and former SECDEF (Rumsfeld).’
(Mom talks in Dad speak when she is in political conversation)
‘Well it looks to me like that all got worked out pretty quickly then, huh?’ At that point I just wanted to get to work and get on with it.
‘Actually pip it was just the beginning of a horrendous mess that could have been avoided. This action by the new SECDEF (Gates) caused the then-Sec of Army (Harvey) to deliberately reappoint Kiley as the new CG of WRMC. I say deliberately because Kiley was the CG of WRMC from 2004 to 2006 when the conditions were reported as being the same as today. And apparently, in a fit of anger SECDEF (Gates) replaced former Sec of Army (Harvey) with a new acting Sec of Army (Geren) who after only one day on the job for both Garen and Kiley replaced former Sec of Army (Harvey) and re-appointed Kiley with Shoomaker and/or Pollock. Pollock is the current, maybe I should say temporary, CG of WRMC.’
‘Mom, I’m trying to follow this and I hear that you are really incensed and I’m trying to get why.’
‘Don’t you see pip? Don’t you see that if Anger can make our military chiefs behave no better than the silly macho behaviour you encounter in high school, well you can’t blame Al Qaeda for that one, can you?’
‘Oh Mom, you sound like Dad again. I gotta go. Kiss.’
I was off.
Once I got to work it was almost as if a repeat occurrence from a couple of years ago… Yes, in a different job. Yes, with different people involved. But it was the same ugly, confrontational scenario all over again.
I don’t want to leave this poor excuse for a pond. Maybe if I wait here long enough the ghost of Dad will speak to me again.
As if on cue… ‘Well, pip, know it or not you’ve made the first step in turning Anger to your advantage.’
‘Oh really?’
‘Yes, recognizing Anger is important and this morning when Mom was reading about the WRMC fiasco you later thought you should have heard an alarm bell go off. You recognized Anger – very hard to do, especially with someone as level headed as Mom. The trouble with alarm bells, fire bell, for instance, is that the alarm is sounded after the fire has started and frequently after it is out of control. So quick recognition is very useful. It also is much easier to recognize Anger in another than recognizing it in yourself. Therefore, look for Anger in your opponent. If you find it (or if you don’t), pause then look for it in yourself.’
‘Keep speaking O’ Ghost Who Talks.’
‘That’s another thing… If you continue to think of me as a ghost (heaven forbid) then think of me as a ghost whisperer, not as a ghost shouter. So another hopefully helpful hint – tailor made for you – is if you hear me shouting, as during your earlier rant, rest assured you are angry.’
Oh, and this entry isn't numbered like the others. Oh well, consistency is overrated.
Anybody can become angry—that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
ARISTOTLE
sisternaamah
haulliefree
friends?
Haullie
(Anonymous)
toritattoo
I loved that part of your post...can't wait to see you on tour pip!
<3 Frank Paul
PS. When I'm angry, if I listen to Bouncing Off Clouds by Tori Amos, I can't be angry...I can only bounce...its my favorite song on ADP (today anyway) :)
This is an excerpt from an attachment in an email I got at work from one of the higher ups (remember, I work for a behavioral health agency:
From APS Healthcare:
Managing Anger
Anger is a natural and normal reaction that can range from a slight irritation to a strong rage. Biological changes usually accompany feelings of anger: heart rate and blood pressure increase, and stress hormones are released. Everyone handles their anger a bit differently—some tend to suppress it, others express it. However, if anger is not balanced and managed appropriately, it can have a negative effect not only on your life, but also on the lives around you.
Generally, anger management is about identifying what triggers your anger and learning techniques to help you better manage it, such as:
Taking a time out...
Monitoring your behavior: Learn to recognize your triggers and try to think of some workable solutions...
Learning assertiveness skills...
Communicating effectively...
Anger: Catalyst for change
Anger can be constructive if not responded to with violence. Anger can be anexcellent cataylyst for change.
It made me angry last semester at the VA Hospital (another hospital in disrepair) when they had to discharge a homeless Vietnam Veteran to the streets.
Listen to your Father, Pip. He knows you better than anyone. I sure do miss his cooking. Remember that time he tried to make us eat sweetbreads? Homegirl don't eat no glands...tee hee. Lily and Ben Say hello. He had his first birthday last week. Having children has turned my anger into productivity more than any other event in my life. I want them to look to me as an example of how to treat others.
Gotta go sweetie, hug your Mom for us! Love, Ellen
(Anonymous)
hey!!!!!!!
glad 2 hear that u got a job!!!! listen 2 ur mom she's rite u know!!!!! my mom told me once that mother's know everything 99.9% of the time the other % they find out what u do!!! mother's: c and hear all that u do!!! and mother's know when u sneak and lie 2!!!!!! and love how u r dealing w/ anger!!!!
mkgtweety
(Anonymous)
hey!!!!
glad 2 hear that u got a job!!!!! listen 2 ur mother!!!! she knows what she is talking 'bout!!!! my momther told me once: "mother's know everything 99.9% of the time. the other % they find out whatu do!!!! mother's c and hear everything u do!!!! and mother's know when u sneak and lie 2!!!! glad 2 hear that u dealing w/ur anger!!!!
mkgtweety
now if we're talking greater scheme of things of family relations, lovers gone awry and friends who disappeared -- .. then i think anger is a useful tool for revolution .. that i'm all too easily drawn into.
*bOws*